Empathy is what distinguishes us from machines and even from many other animals. It allows us to communicate with and understand other people. It is what makes us compassionate. Empathy is an integral part of social experience, learning, and childhood.
“Empathy is not innate — it must be learned. As with most things, it is best learned in childhood. The best teachers are adults” — Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”.
Empathy gives rise to kindness — a quality most parents hope to instill in their children. Courage is part of the source of this kindness: the courage to stand up for yourself and others.
Children with higher levels of empathy are more likely to become “upstanders” — people who defend someone outside their circle of friends when faced with a bully. This courage can change the life of a child who feels isolated at school or is bullied but lacks the courage to defend themselves.
Empathy makes us happier. People with empathy have stronger personal connections and more meaningful, caring relationships.
Empathy is an integral part of social and emotional learning. This learning helps children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills needed to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show compassion for others, build and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than IQ today — or at least just as important.
“Cognitive achievement is 50 percent of the equation; social and emotional skills are the other 50 percent. That is the mathematics of a person’s social and professional success in the 21st century.” — Nataliya Limonova, GIOS founder.
Show your compassion. Listen carefully to what and how your child speaks, and ask questions about their feelings and thoughts. Children grow, and their ability to empathize can mature through social interactions, although this happens more naturally for some children than for others. You can start with 15 questions to replace “How was your day at school?”
Help them explore other perspectives and roles. Reading has always been a window into the world of human behavior. Book characters deal with common issues, find and lose friends, and work through conflicts. For reading to be productive, discuss what you have read. Talk about how a character solved a problem. “What do you think they feel?” and “Why do they feel that way?” are always good questions for children of any age.
Express emotions without labeling them as bad or good. Anger, shame, and fear should not be taboo; such an attitude can lead to deep psychological difficulties. Happiness can take many forms and can be explained with countless words. It is important to understand your true feelings and explain them clearly to yourself and others.
“Create an emotion dictionary! Put it somewhere visible and add new words that describe feelings more often. You can do this in different languages or ask your child to design it — you have a whole project!” — a GIOS life hack.
